鯨落筆記whale fall notes

現代社會人們很多焦慮都是來自於「他者」，除了極度重視社會和他人的評價，還有盲目地對社會價值觀的「信仰」，最後成為自己一生的一種強烈執著，執著於尋求他人的認同而努力，並不斷去強迫自己達成很多普遍被認為「完美的標準」去表現自己，企圖成為每個他者心目中的完美形象。而很多人誤以為得到別人的正面評價和肯定後所得到的「自信」是「堅固」的，但往往人是很難滿足在每一個人心目中的完美標準，這些人就算得到大多數人的肯定後，也會容易因為有少數或部份人批評自己而沮喪和焦慮，過度放大別人的批評，在別人的價值與肯定中建立的虛假「自信」這刻就如空中樓閣一樣容易在短時間內崩塌。

In today’s society, much of people’s anxiety originates from “the other.” This includes not only placing extreme importance on the opinions of society and others but also blindly adhering to societal values. This ultimately becomes a strong attachment throughout one’s life, striving for the recognition of others and constantly forcing oneself to meet the so-called “perfect standards” widely acknowledged in order to showcase oneself and attempt to become the perfect image in the eyes of others. Many people mistakenly believe that the “self-confidence” gained from positive evaluations and affirmation from others is “solid.” However, it is often difficult to satisfy the perfect standards in the minds of everyone. Even if these individuals receive affirmation from most people, they may still be easily discouraged and anxious due to criticism from a minority or some individuals, magnifying others’ criticisms excessively. The false “self-confidence” established in the value and affirmation of others can easily collapse in a short time, like a castle in the air.

他人就是地獄。
L’enfer c’est les autres

無處何逃 No exit, and three other plays, Sartre 沙特, Jean-Paul , p.275, (1989) , 1-46:45

法國哲學家沙特進一步解釋「他者」與「地獄」的關係，這句話並不是指「他者」包含「地獄」的特質，而是說當我們死後，我們就會在別人印象就會被永久固化，不能再對他者的主觀詮釋做任何抵抗。在生前仍能不斷表現和調整自己給別人的印象，但是死後這種自由就會消失，最後被永久埋葬在別人固化的記憶和感覺中。在他人的凝視下，我們自我的世界與「他人」的世界因衝突後調整所產生的折磨，當我們走在大街上，如果面對走過來的人都在凝視著自己，你就會感覺得非常不自在不舒服，甚至會感到恐懼，這就是因為，別人的凝視，讓我們成為他們的評價對象。在沙特看來，人與人的交往過程中往往是充滿這種主體性之間的鬥爭，即使在愛情中也是一樣。

French philosopher Sartre later explained that this statement does not mean that “the other” possesses the qualities of “hell.” Instead, it means that when we die, our impressions in the minds of others become permanently solidified, and we can no longer resist their subjective interpretations. While we are alive, we can constantly express and adjust the impressions we give to others. However, after death, this freedom disappears, and we are ultimately buried in the solidified memories and feelings of others. Under the gaze of others, the torment produced by the adjustment of our world and the world of “others” due to conflict makes us feel extremely uneasy and uncomfortable when walking down the street and facing the stares of passers-by, even to the point of fear. This is because the gaze of others turns us into the object of their evaluation. In Sartre’s view, human interaction often involves struggles between subjectivities, even in love.

沙特「他人即地獄」，有三層邏輯：

Sartre’s “the other is hell” has three layers of logic:

1. 如果自己不能正確對待他者，那麼他者就是自己的「地獄」。一旦與他人的關係惡化，自己就會更加在「地獄」被折磨得更加痛苦。
   If one cannot treat others correctly, then the other becomes one’s “hell.” Once the relationship with others deteriorates, one will suffer even more in “hell.”
2. 如果自己無法接受他者的評價，那麼他者對你的評價就是自己的「地獄」。別人的評價有參考的價值，但不要過分依賴和重視。不然也會承受「地獄」般的痛苦。
   If one cannot accept the evaluations of others, then the evaluations of others become one’s “hell.” The opinions of others have reference value but don’t overly rely on or value them. Otherwise, you will also endure hell-like pain.
3. 如果自己沒有建立任何自我價值。當自己所有價值的定義都是來自他者，甚至進一步成為判斷自我價值的唯一標準，那麼自己就是自己的「地獄」。
   If one fails to establish any self-worth, and all definitions of one’s value come from others to the point where they become the sole criterion for judging one’s self-worth, then one becomes one’s own “hell.”

他者的評價如同一種劣質的建築材料，當自己的自信建立在這些不可信的建築材料之上，便容易因一丁點外界的衝擊而崩潰。而正確的自我價值如同最高質堅固的建築材料，可以抵擋一切外來衝擊。但這種建築材料必須從自己的內在找尋，不斷專注在屬於自己的當下，並在當下中嘗試發現生活的不同選擇和可能性才能找到屬於自己最理想的建築材料（自我價值）。

The evaluations of others are like inferior building materials. When one’s confidence is built upon these unreliable building materials, it is easy to collapse with even the slightest external impact. On the other hand, correct self-worth is like the highest quality and most solid building material, which can withstand any external impact. However, this kind of building material must be found from within oneself, by constantly focusing on the present moment and trying to discover different choices and possibilities in life, in order to find the ideal building material (self-worth) that belongs to oneself.