In today’s society, much of people’s anxiety originates from “the other.” This includes not only placing extreme importance on the opinions of society and others but also blindly adhering to societal values. This ultimately becomes a strong attachment throughout one’s life, striving for the recognition of others and constantly forcing oneself to meet the so-called “perfect standards” widely acknowledged in order to showcase oneself and attempt to become the perfect image in the eyes of others. Many people mistakenly believe that the “self-confidence” gained from positive evaluations and affirmation from others is “solid.” However, it is often difficult to satisfy the perfect standards in the minds of everyone. Even if these individuals receive affirmation from most people, they may still be easily discouraged and anxious due to criticism from a minority or some individuals, magnifying others’ criticisms excessively. The false “self-confidence” established in the value and affirmation of others can easily collapse in a short time, like a castle in the air.
L’enfer c’est les autres No exit, and three other plays, Sartre 沙特, Jean-Paul , p.275, (1989) , 1-46:45
French philosopher Sartre later explained that this statement does not mean that “the other” possesses the qualities of “hell.” Instead, it means that when we die, our impressions in the minds of others become permanently solidified, and we can no longer resist their subjective interpretations. While we are alive, we can constantly express and adjust the impressions we give to others. However, after death, this freedom disappears, and we are ultimately buried in the solidified memories and feelings of others. Under the gaze of others, the torment produced by the adjustment of our world and the world of “others” due to conflict makes us feel extremely uneasy and uncomfortable when walking down the street and facing the stares of passers-by, even to the point of fear. This is because the gaze of others turns us into the object of their evaluation. In Sartre’s view, human interaction often involves struggles between subjectivities, even in love.
Sartre’s “the other is hell” has three layers of logic:
- If one cannot treat others correctly, then the other becomes one’s “hell.” Once the relationship with others deteriorates, one will suffer even more in “hell.”
- If one cannot accept the evaluations of others, then the evaluations of others become one’s “hell.” The opinions of others have reference value but don’t overly rely on or value them. Otherwise, you will also endure hell-like pain.
- If one fails to establish any self-worth, and all definitions of one’s value come from others to the point where they become the sole criterion for judging one’s self-worth, then one becomes one’s own “hell.”
The evaluations of others are like inferior building materials. When one’s confidence is built upon these unreliable building materials, it is easy to collapse with even the slightest external impact. On the other hand, correct self-worth is like the highest quality and most solid building material, which can withstand any external impact. However, this kind of building material must be found from within oneself, by constantly focusing on the present moment and trying to discover different choices and possibilities in life, in order to find the ideal building material (self-worth) that belongs to oneself.
