我從小就有情緒問題，包括腸胃焦慮症、恐慌、抑鬱等。基本上每次考試都會去很多次洗手間，而且不夠膽量在眾人面前發言，甚至害怕上學與其他人接觸等等。
I have had emotional problems since I was young, including gastrointestinal anxiety, panic, depression, and so on. Basically, every time I take an exam, I would go to the restroom many times, and I don’t have enough courage to speak in front of others, and even fear interacting with others at school, and so on.
其實後來發現這與我「無法專心」有關。每次有「念頭」出現就會主動投入，同時釋放很多情緒，這些情緒會使我產生更多的思考，導致惡性循環。而且情緒出現時，我會手足無措，最後甚至直接「投降」、「放棄」，使原本糟糕的情況變得更糟。
Actually, I later found out that this is related to my inability to “focus”. Every time a thought arises, I will actively engage with it and release a lot of emotions. These emotions will make me think more, resulting in a vicious cycle. When emotions arise, I feel helpless and eventually even “surrender” or “give up”, making the situation worse than it was before.
「專心」實際上是指「對正在進行的事情的投入」和「覺知」。例如，在跑步運動中，要體現「專心」，就代表你要專心呼吸的節奏，專心跑步的節奏。甚至可以「知道」每一下呼吸在鼻腔中的一出一入的感覺，或「知道」自己左右腳交替運動。當有思考和情緒出現時要「知道」自己開始受影響，然後慢慢回到跑步的節奏，這種「知道」和「回來」的狀態是「專心」。當然，這種專心不是帶有執著的「專心」，也不需要過於用力。它是一種剛剛好的力度，既不過度，也不太放鬆的一種「不偏不倚的注意」，當然最好是可以達到「自然享受」的狀態。
“Focus” actually refers to “engagement” and “awareness” of what is currently happening. For example, in running exercise, to embody “focus” means that you need to focus on the rhythm of breathing, focus on the rhythm of running, some people can even “know” the feeling of every inhalation and exhalation in their nasal cavity or “know” the alternating movement of their left and right feet very attentively. When thoughts and emotions arise, you need to “know” that you are starting to be affected, and then slowly return to the rhythm of running. This state of “knowing” and “returning” is “focus”. Of course, this kind of focus is not a persistent “focus” with attachment, and it does not require too much effort. It is a state of balance consciousness that is just right, neither too extreme nor too relaxed. Of course, it is best to achieve a state of “natural enjoyment”.
而且不要期望一開始就能成功「專心」在一件事上，要把它當作一種意識運動，需要訓練。事實上，現在很多軍人和運動員都有進行這種意識訓練，例如即使在足球比賽當比分落後十比零的情況下，也不能讓情緒影響自己，仍能發揮100%的能力，不受任何情緒影響。久而久之，更容易進入一種叫做「心流（Flow) 」的意識狀態，在任何事情上都能發揮最大效率，學習效率也會大大提高。「專心」的對象可以是呼吸節奏、運動節奏、畫畫和書法時的每一筆一劃、甚至可以是「專心」於一種感覺，例如痛感、病感等等。
Also, do not expect to be able to focus on one thing successfully from the beginning. It should be treated as a form of consciousness exercise and requires training. In fact, many soldiers and athletes now undergo this kind of consciousness training. For example, even in a football game where the score is ten to zero, they cannot let their emotions affect them and still be able to perform at 100% capacity without being affected by any emotions. Over time, it is easier to enter a state of consciousness called “flow”, which can maximize efficiency in any task and greatly improve learning efficiency. The object of “focus” can be the rhythm of breathing, the rhythm of exercise, every stroke when drawing or doing calligraphy, and it can even be “focus” on a feeling, such as pain or illness.
當學會「專心」在一件事上後，我發現自己的自控能力得到很大的提升，例如情緒慾望、對疼痛的忍耐力等。甚至在長途巴士上腹痛時，也可以不用急著去上廁所而適應它，疼痛自然會消失等。甚至可以用來控制食慾以減肥。現在我對自己身體的所有情況都達到一種相當高的「控制」，不輕易被情緒慾望所「打擾」。
After learning to “focus” on one thing, I found that my self-control has greatly improved, such as emotional desires and tolerance to pain. Even when I have stomach pain on a long-distance bus, I can adapt to it without rushing to the restroom, and the pain will naturally disappear. It can even be used to control appetite for weight loss. Now I have achieved a fairly high level of “control” over all conditions of my body and am not easily “disturbed” by emotional desires.
書法、劍道、花藝、柔道等「技藝」到最後其實都要求你克服自己的情緒，進入一種所謂「道」的清靜狀態。每天堅持一段時間「專心」做一件事，並在情緒慾望來臨時也「專心」去做一件事。這種「專心」的狀態維持得越久，你對自己的控制權就會越來越大，可以「專心」做一件事的程度有多高，就代表自控能力有多高。自控能力有多高就代表被情緒影響的程度有多低。最後你會發現自己原來可以對自己的身體達到一種高度控制的「境界」。
Calligraphy, kendo, flower arrangement, judo, and other “skills” actually require you to overcome your own emotions and enter a state of tranquility called “Tao”. Persist in “focusing” on one thing for a period of time every day and also “focusing” on doing one thing when emotional desires arise. The longer you maintain this state of “focus”, the greater your control over yourself will become. The higher the level of “focus” you can achieve, the higher your self-control ability will be. The higher your self-control ability, the lower the degree of being affected by emotions. In the end, you will find that you can achieve a high level of control over your body, reaching a new “realm”.
鯨落筆記whale fall notes 